my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
