Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
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