He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
