Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Im part way to drunk.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
