I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
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