I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Someone shattered a urinal.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
