Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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