i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
