he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
