..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
