I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
