My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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