I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
