Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
