Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
