chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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