Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
It's blow job season.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Randomize
