So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
she peed on how many people?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
