I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
