just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
