Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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