She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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