Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
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