I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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