just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
