Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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