How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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