Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
