She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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