I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
