K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
40s are totally the cure
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
