it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
