Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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