love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
