her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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