can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
He shit in the fireplace
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
