clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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