Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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