when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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