1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Randomize
