Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
