I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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