she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
