Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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