I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
