dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
