i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
