yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize