when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
