he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
