so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
