Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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