it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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