i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Randomize
