Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
