yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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