So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
