the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
