Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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