You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
