It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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