we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
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