I didn't shave. On purpose
my mouth tastes like poor choices
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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